She Forgot The Radio
by knives4cash
Summary: Alex forgot the radio. It was an honest mistake! [Originally posted January 18, 2016]


"Ren, I'm really, really sorry!" I apologize for, like, the millionth time as we trudge our way up the cliffs. Heck, I'm surprised he still has the spirit to keep going.

"It's just some stupid radio signals anyways," Jonas attempts to downplay, keeping pace with me as he takes a drag from his cigarette.

And you know what? I'm glad he said it! That way, I don't have to. The truth comes out, and I don't sound like a dick for it; everything's coming up Alex!

"God, no! They're not stupid!" Ren whines as we reach the top of the winding pathway. "I was really counting on you, Alex!" he bemoans, staring off into the stars as if they hold the answers to his woes. "It was gonna be a thing! And it would be awesome! And spooky! And maybe get Nona closer to me!"

"Look, we came here for the beach and the beer," I try to remind him. "So let's go down to the beach, hook up with the others, and- why are you grinning?" I immediately demand. Knowing Ren, he took that- ugh, I should really watch my language around this guy.

"Okay, you're right," Ren accepts. "It's just a stupid radio, with a stupid cave, with some stupid signals. I can come back and do it on my own time; I'm sorry for being a downer about it," he says, holding out his right hand as a token of his friendship.

Heck, we survived my brother's death. We survived my parents' divorce. Ren always did stick with me.

"Apology accepted," I gladly declare, shaking hands with him and finally laying this stupid radio drama to rest.

"I'm glad you two have buried the hatchet, now can we please just get drunk already?" Jonas asks.

Finally, the three of us can agree on a course of action. One dumpster puzzle later, we're making our way down the sandy walkway towards the beach. Ren starts informing us about his romantic visions for Nona and that my new step-brother and I can't screw it up for him. He wants to elaborate further, but we run into two more people.

The tall, red-headed and snarky ex-girlfriend of Michael: Clarissa. Still dying her hair reddy red red, still got the jeans and the boots too. And she still has that look of total disdain in her eyes. Heck, I can pretty much feel the cold, icy wrath of unforgiving damnation resonating within her soul.

So yeah, Clarissa's doing well!

Then there's the shorter, quieter, and actually nicer Nona. Orange is her theme. Cool beanie, fun sweater, long and black hair. She's in a few of my classes, but she tends to cut them for the most part. That's high school for you, though. You either learn along that standardized median or you do what Michael did and just kick ass at everything just because you're that awesome.

Nona's not that awesome, but hey, she's not an asshole like Clarissa. So there's that.

Heck, maybe she'll even have the patience to date Ren. Who knows?

"There you are," Clarissa begins, surprisingly neutral when addressing us. Probably already buzzed. I hope she brought enough beer, but knowing her she'll try to give me the Buddy-Light crap. "Took you guys long enough."

If there's one thing I've learned from assholes: being an asshole back to them doesn't mend the relationship, but it sure as shit makes you feel better about yourself!

"Everyone! This is Jonas," I both introduce AND cut Clarissa off. If conversations had a scoring system, I'd be in the lead. Go me! "And Jonas, this is Everyone."

"Hey," Jonas greets, waving his left hand as he uses his right to bring his cigarette up to his lips.

Nona greets him like a normal, nice human being would, but Clarissa immediately asks, "Who?"

Before I can overanalyze her tone, Ren answers for me and starts leading us down to the beach. "Jonas is the newest, latest, greatest model in the Step-Brother Brotacular line of step-brothers!"

 _"I. Am. More. Than. A. Bro,"_ Jonas elaborates in a robotic tone, mechanically moving his arms to emphasize his robotic-ness. _"I. Am. Bro. Tac. U. Lar."_

"And he can be yours for just three easy payments of nine-ninety-nine!" I top off. "Order now, and we'll throw in the Skynet steaming service for free."

Clarissa immediately jumps on the subject like a wolf jumps on a wounded deer. "Aaand how are you Alex's step-brother?" she asks as we navigate over some questionably stable gravel patches.

This bitch knows damn-well why. And she knows that she knows why. And she knows that I know that she knows that she knows! Bitch.

"I'll give you three guesses," I curtly spit.

Ren knows what's up. He tries to diffuse the situation. "You know, her mom marries his dad; his dad has a son; Jonas is the son; soooo, domino effect!"

"I don't think we're communist enough for that," Jonas jokes, referencing the Cold War. History's not my thing, but I give him a courtesy "Hah!" for it anyways.

"Oh my God," Clarissa groans as she keeps pace at Nona's side. "I can't believe that this is happening. This thing. Is happening. Good God."

If God were good, He'd have struck this bitch down already. C'mon, God, you drowned the planet once! And you popped a rainbow out of your ass as an apology! Someone who's not above global genocide should have no problems smacking one bitch down upon request!

"Eeeeh, yeah, we took the last ferry," Ren informs her as we get down to the coastal level. "On the plus side: more beer for us!"

Clarissa gives a hearty laugh. I'll be damned if it's not forced and directed at me. "Oh my God. It's just you, Alex, and her new step-brother."

"So I know I'm the new guy and all," Jonas begins as he tosses his cigarette butt aside. "But aren't you all, like, friends or something? I'm sensing some tension."

"I'm friends with Nona," Clarissa clarifies for him. To be more accurate, her tone is implying, "I'm ONLY friends with Nona." Clarissa goes on to say, "Ren is like a creepy neighbor, and I've only just met you."

"Damn," Jonas scoffs, looking back to me with some uncertainty. "What about Alex?" he asks.

"What _about_ Alex?" Clarissa pretty much ends.

"Clar, stop," Nona tries to enforce. "Don't be like that; we're here to have fun."

"Great," Jonas sighs. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until after we're all shitfaced."

The five of us come upon a cozy setting: a hearty bonfire going, a dozen blankets of various colors, two ice chests teeming with bottles -preferably alcoholic in contents- calm night sky with lots of stars out, the drone of crickets in the background. Life is looking good.

Aaand then the bitch starts talking. "You can thank Nona for that. She insisted we get things going for you losers." Plopping her flat ass down on a black blanket, she takes out a pack of cigarettes, perfectly content to disconnect from the party. Bitch.

"Thank you, Nona," I say, trying to give her a friendly pat on the shoulder; but she kinda crumbles away from the contact so it just comes off as awkward and why do I even bother with introverts.

"Nona, beer," Clarissa orders as she lights up.

Ren strolls over to Clarissa's right and kneels down on a pink blanket, happy to warm up. "Since when do you drink, Nona?" he wonders as he holds his hands out for warmth.

"I don't," Nona answers as she wheels both ice chests over to the spot in between Clarissa and Ren. As she hands a beer off to Clarissa, she continues, "And you should know that. I'm offended. I'm so offended that I'm making you our official Beer Passer."

"Kill yourself now, Ren," Clarissa laughs as I sit down next to my childhood friend. "You've reached the zenith of your life right now! It's all downhill from here."

Firmly clearing his throat, Jonas grabs two beers and offers me one. It's a foreign name, not American. So it's probably good. Sitting down on my right, he asks, "Nona! If you don't want to drink, what do you want to do?"

"There's always _'Truth or Slap'_ if you guys get alcohol poisoning," she offers with a grin.

Looking towards me and Jonas, Ren sees the question coming up, so he says, "I know you guys are about to ask the question I've had to answer a million times. It's like the family classic _'Truth or Dare'_ but without that awful ending where someone ends up licking someone's butthole."

Heck, if that's what a person likes, and if their partner is okay with it then I see no problem with-

"So in this version," Ren continues on, oblivious to my thoughts of tolerance and sexual exploration. "You ask a person a question; they answer; if you can prove they're lying, you get to slap them."

"Heck, I'm game," I offer as I twist off the cap and take a swig of this bitter, yet inviting kidney-killer concoction.

"Game on," Clarissa challenges as she finishes off her first beer already. Nona tries to speak up, but she falls silent as Clarissa says, "Ren. Fess up. You wanna get with Nona."

Heck, that's just faaantastic. Way to make it awkward already, bitch. Ren's hands start fumbling, Jonas resigns himself to his beer, and Nona facepalms. You know what, I'll resign myself to this bitter beer too.

"Clar!" Nona shouts, sharing my feelings. Probably without the bitch part, but my point still stands.

"Ssh-ssh-ssh!" Clarissa shushes. "Shut up, I wanna hear his answer."

"Uuh, uuum," Ren begins. "Look, it's tough to gauge. There are so many ways-"

"Hah!" Clarissa decides, apparently victorious. "I knew it. Now just admit it already and move on."

"Clar!" Nona shouts again. I think there's some red in her cheeks; but that could be from the fire.

Nah, it's gotta be out of unbridled anger towards this bitch.

Ren spends a few more moments mumbling about friendship and whatnot before Clar ends, "You can stop being pathetic, Ren. I won't even get up to slap you. That would just be cruel."

"Ren's turn!" Jonas and I shout in unison. Looking to my step-brother, I offer him a fist, which he gladly bumps. We're gonna be good roommates.

"I choose Alex," Ren gladly decides with a thankful smile to me and Jonas. Poor guy. It's not like he's trying to manipulate Nona. He just likes her; and he just wants her to like him back. You know what? He can be a bit much at times, but he's a cool dude! Nona would definitely have fun with him.

And Clarissa has to be a dick about it. Bitch.

"Hit me, Ren," I laugh as I down another swig of beer. "I can take whatever you can dish!"

"Marry, screw, kill," he challenges. "Me, Nona, and Clarissa, go!"

The other girls make their shock known and demand an explanation from Ren, who explains that it's just a funny scenario. Which I happen to agree with.

"Wait, what about Jonas?" I wonder.

"He's technically your family now!" Ren laughs. "So he's excluded!"

"That's not very nice!" I decide. "How about this: we add in a fourth category, like, uuum… emotionally manipulate into loving me but I just use them."

"Oh, thanks," Jonas groans as he downs the rest of his first beer.

"God, why not?" Clarissa chuckles as she starts on her second beer. "Okay, Alex, you've got those four things now. Who gets what?"

"I think I'd marry Nona," I begin, much to her surprise. "You're not an asshole! You come off as understanding and supportive. I mean, you put up with Clarissa, right?" Ignoring Clarissa's overly dramatic laugh, I continue, "So we could probably work out okay-ish!"

Nodding along, Nona says, "Thaaanks, I think."

"Next?" Ren asks. "Who gets in bed with you?"

"Clarissa." Shit! I didn't mean to say that out loud! And now everyone's staring at me like I'm an ethnic minority on Wall Street.

Clarissa actually sets her beer down. "Seriously?" she asks. No malice. No hate. Just curiosity.

Heck, the cat's out of the bag. Might as well own it. Taking another chug of my first beer, I proudly proclaim, "You know it. You've got a sexy voice, a killer body, and I've always been jealous over your hair. The only drawback is your smoking; but a breath mint could fix that."

Slowly nodding, Clarissa picks her beer back up and sips away. Heck, I outta finish this one. I am going to have to drink a heck of a lot more than one beer now.

"Good to know," Jonas hums as Ren passes another round of beers down to me, and I hand one to Jonas.

"Don't feel bad!" I sputter, almost spilling the last of my first beer. "You look like you'd be fun in bed too, Jonas; it's just that I actually know that Clarissa would be- well- yeah I'll stop."

"Thanks," Jonas laughs. "Incestual fantasies aside, who dies and who gets emotionally ruined?"

Oh my God, what is it with this misplaced idea of incest?! We're not related by blood, only by law! How would that be incest? Man, some people are just weird.

"I'm starting to regret coming," Nona groans, flouncing down onto her back.

"I'm starting to regret doubting this," Clarissa informs her with a grin.

"I would probably kill Ren out of mercy," I decide. His look of betrayal is almost adorable!

"You'd kill the friend who let you cheat off of him in the history final?!" he demands, feeling totally betrayed.

"Out of mercy!" I remind him, laughing as I start downing my second beer."Besides, Ren," I honestly assess. "You're not my type. You've got a dick, and dicks are fun and all, and I'm sure your financial stability would help a marriage, buuut you and I would butt heads a lot, and I don't think you'd be as sexually satisfying as Clarissa."

"Why do I get emotionally manipulated?" Jonas asks as Ren goes for another beer to drown his woes.

"You strike me as a tough lad," I tell him. "I know that Ren would be utterly devastated for years to come; but I'm pretty sure that you would be able to handle it better."

Nodding, Jonas agrees, "That sounds about right."

Clapping her hands, Clarissa boldly shouts, "Bravo, Alex! I guess you aren't a total waste of oxygen after all!"

 _"Bravo, Clarissa!"_ I laugh back, extra hard. "I'm so glad you can see the obvious, now that you're not sucking Michaels dick all the time!"

 _ **"FUCK YOU!"**_ she shouts back.

Throwing my arms out like I'm on a fucking cross, I ask, "Whatcha gonna do about it, bitch?! Michael's not around to fight for you anymore! You wanna go?! I'll kick your bitch ass, you bitch!"

I can bench my whole fucking body weight, I can take this stick bitch who can't even lift a thirty pound box of dildos. The dumb bitch is dumb enough to stand up, prompting everyone else to stand up and form an impromptu wall between her and me.

Damn shame. I really outta teach her a lesson in respect, something she only seemed to have for Michael. Damn shame.

"I have no idea what the fuck is going on!" Jonas gladly admitted as he restrained Clarissa in a shoulder lock. "But I'm ending it now!"

"She let him die!" Clarissa cried, struggling to break free and get her ass beat. "Michael fucking went swimming with this fucking failure, and she let him drown! She _**LET HIM DROWN!**_ "

Finishing off my second beer, I stand up. "You think you can put that on me? You think I can carry a two hundred, sixty-five pound muscle man out of the water? Sorry, bitch, but that's not how physics works, even with buoyancy."

"Clarissa! Alex!" Ren shouts, keeping himself in between us. "Both of you just calm down, okay?! No one is gonna win anything from this!"

"Both of you!" Nona cried out. "Just chill the fuck out, okay?! Clar! Michael's death was a tragic accident, but Alex would never have been able to help him. _**YOU**_ never would have been able to help him!"

"And Alex!" Jonas added, still restraining Clarissa. "You should have the common sense to avoid antagonizing a person like that, even if they're lashing out at you!"

"Michael meant a lot to me too, Clarissa," Ren tried to relate. "But he wouldn't approve of you lashing out at his sister like this."

The once mighty, bitchy Clarissa has now been reduced to a knee-wobbling, snot-snorting, tear-jerking mess of a woman. I nod to Jonas, who hesitantly lets her go.

To be honest, I'm not that shook up about it. My heart went racing there when I was expecting to kick some ass, but other than that I'm feeling fine. Clarissa starts crying, but that's just over Michael's death; it's not like she's making a philosophical revelation.

"He loved me," she wails as Nona pulls her into a hug. Clarissa accepts, continuing, "And I l- let him down! I- I- I- I _fai-i-led_ him!" she hiccups as the tears pour out.

I guess Nona's had to put up with this before. She asks for a few blankets, which I wrap up for her. She tells us that she and Clar will be going on a walk and will be back in a while, that they just need some alone time.

I recommend the old comm tower. Nona is grateful.

And then there were three. The one thing I've never liked about Ren -and why I actually wouldn't marry him- is that he deals with issues by not dealing with them.

"Sooo I'm going to go eat some pot brownies," he immediately decides, grabbing a beer. "I'll be over by the cave. If you hear me drowning in my own vomit, come save me."

"Can do," I assure him as he walks off.

And then there were two.

Sitting down, I pat the space on my right. "Sit with me?" I ask of Jonas, who silently agrees.

This is the closest we've ever been. When I met him, we shook hands. On the ferry we stayed at least a few feet apart. When we got here, we sat next to each other.

And now I get to feel his firm, brotherly embrace. And this just his left arm's muscle; I bet his right arm's even stronger. We'll have to arm-wrestle some time.

Of course, I do the same and wrap my right arm around his broad, strapping shoulders.

I'm very firm about it, very relaxed though. He can tell. "You're not too shaken up by any of this?" It's not really a question. He actually sounds impressed.

"I had a long time to think and cry over my brother's death," I tell him. "You know that attic room we set up for you? It was actually Michael's room. Mom asked me if I was okay with it, and I was."

He stays silent. To be fair, I haven't left him with a lot to say. The fire is the loudest thing on this island for me.

So I continue, "Jonas, I spent enough time mourning Michael's death. I went through all the stages, experienced all the feelings and whatnot. I grew up with him, and I loved him so, so, _sooo_ much!"

It's a damn shame. Michael never did anything to anger the Universe. Damn shame.

Jonas has nothing to say. I guess he just doesn't know what to say. If we were in each other's shoes, I'd probably not know what to say either. Luckily, I know what I'm getting at.

"But I also got over him... It's just too damn bad that Clarissa couldn't do the same on her own."


End file.
